


Oh, Here We Go

by dinosaursmate



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Cinema AU, Flirting, Harry is blasphemous towards Zac Efron, M/M, Slight Exhibitionist Kink, Strangers, Strangers to Lovers, Teasing, Zac Efron is a plot point, and other food, cute and smutty, lol, maybe friends in between for a couple of minutes?, nachos, smutty and cute, someone walks in, there's not much to tag because it's so short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 12:44:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7758325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaursmate/pseuds/dinosaursmate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Bloody assigned seating, eh?” The kid rasped, beaming geekily, large front teeth indenting into his bottom lip. Louis felt the corner of his mouth tug into a minuscule smile.<br/>“Well, I’m not sure they exactly expect you to stick to that when it’s this quiet.”<br/>“Oh, no.” The kid shook his head. “I follow the rules, mate.”<br/>---<br/>Louis just wants to be left alone to enjoy Zac Efron's new film in peace but his local cinema's assigned seating system has other ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, Here We Go

**Author's Note:**

> The title just stuck with me for some reason when I was listening to Shakira and Rihanna's Can't Remember to Forget You.
> 
> This is based on [ this ](http://verily-i-say.tumblr.com/post/148826551071/fic-prompt-were-the-only-two-people-in-the)tumblr post by [Verily-i-say](http://archiveofourown.org/users/verily_i_say). She probably didn't seriously actually expect someone to write it, but - HERE I AM!!!
> 
> This is not yet beta'd so I'm sorry for any errors, I'll come back and fix them!

It had become a tradition for him, really, and he had no shame about it whatsoever. And since none of his friends would come with him, being on his own became part of that tradition.

So, Louis walked into the cinema and sat down in his favourite seat. Back row, dead centre. This was  _ always _ his seat when he came to see a new Zac Efron film; it was the perfect view from which to ogle. He balanced his nachos on the seat next to him as he organised himself, pulling his bag from his shoulder, tugging off his thick jumper and, since he was the only one in the auditorium, kicking his trainers off. 

“Um-”

Louis jumped out of his skin. He looked up to see some leggy kid shifting awkwardly next to him, standing over him frowning. When did  _ he _ come in?

“Your nachos are sitting in my seat.”

Louis slowly looked this kid up and down.. He could tell he was definitely taller than Louis, but had to be two or three years younger, crazy curly hair which looked pretty windswept (it was hard to tell in the dim light but Louis reckoned there may even a leaf stuck in it) and he carried himself as if he’d only just sprouted limbs. He was wearing very, very tight jeans and a heavy coat that seemed somewhat inappropriate for the autumn weather.

“This is your seat?” Louis deadpanned, looking pointedly down at his nachos. 

“Um, yeah.” The curly kid croaked.

“Seat N11 is  _ your _ seat. Right next to me?”

“Um-” He looked down at his ticket, frowning and trying to tilt it towards the light. “Yeah, N11.”

Louis looked up at him stubbornly. He raised his eyebrows, turning his head and slowly, exaggeratedly panning the entirety of the otherwise completely empty auditorium. 

“Okay.” He said slowly, watching the kid as he gave a polite smile, moving forwards as Louis removed his nachos from the seat. 

He sat down carefully, sighing loudly and cracking his knuckles, and if that wasn’t bad enough he contorted himself and clicked his back. Louis cringed, gagging a tiny bit. 

“Bloody assigned seating, eh?” The kid rasped, beaming geekily, large front teeth indenting into his bottom lip. Louis felt the corner of his mouth tug into a minuscule smile.

“Well, I’m not sure they exactly expect you to stick to that when it’s this quiet.”

“Oh, no.” The kid shook his head. “I follow the rules, mate.”

Louis gave a tiny grin despite himself, turning his attention to putting his phone on silent, shifting his body away from the kid, who was pulling his coat off, sniffing as he pulled open his bag, making plenty of noise unpacking it. He pulled out a big bag of popcorn, a litre-bottle of water and a bag of chocolate buttons.

Louis glanced over, raising his eyebrows as the kid pulled out a packaged sandwich.

“Late lunch.” He explained; Louis didn’t remember asking. “I’m starving.”

Louis had no response. He picked up the little tub of liquid cheese and poured it over his nachos. He popped one into his mouth, humming quietly as he savoured the salty, greasy, thoroughly unhealthy goodness.

“Don’t you think cinema nachos are nasty?” The kid asked.

“Evidently not.” Louis replied, slightly annoyed. “They’re crap, obviously, but that’s the best part.”

He shrugged, ripping open the packaging of his sandwich, sniffing again. 

The curly kid didn’t speak again for a while. By the time he’d finished his sandwich, taking a huge gulp of water, the adverts had started and Louis tried to focus on the screen. But the truth was, he couldn’t help glance sideways as the kid pulled the bag of popcorn open and started to unceremoniously shove handfuls into his mouth.

It was mesmerising. He stuck his tongue out of his mouth as he raised his hand to his mouth, crunching popcorn quickly before sucking the salt off of his long fingers. Louis felt his lips part slightly.

The kid shook the bag of popcorn loudly, and Louis was snapped out of his trance.

“Erm, curly,” Louis turned to him. “Are you gonna be crunching and rustling for the whole film? Because, you know, it’s not a problem; the cinema’s empty, I can move and you can make as much noise as you want.”

“No, no, sorry.” The kid responded, quickly licking the salt off his fingers again. “I’ll be quiet, I promise, don’t move.”

Louis shrugged.

“Okay.”

“And my name’s Harry.”

“Okay.”

As promised, Harry fell quiet, eating carefully as not to rustle his popcorn bag. As the trailers started, the lights dimming, Harry shifted and his knee knocked into Louis’, making him jump.

“Oops.” Harry grinned, hitting Louis’ knee with the back of his hand. “Sorry, man.”

Louis swallowed, willing himself to get a grip. This kid was probably barely eighteen; far too young to be corrupted by Louis. He tried to tear his eyes away from where Harry’s hands were ripping his bag of chocolate buttons open, pushing the bag into the cup holder between them.

“Hey.” Harry said loudly over the sound of the car-chase film trailer that was playing. He twisted his body and moved his mouth close to Louis’ ear. “Feel free to help yourself to my buttons.”

Louis was glad the cinema was dark because he literally  _ blushed.  _ Whether or not Harry meant to be flirty he didn’t know, but all Louis could think about now was pulling open the buttons on Harry’s shirt. For God’s sake. Harry was ruining the Zac Efron Experience for Louis.

“Thank you.” He finally said as the cinema darkened further, the BBFC title screen telling him that the film contained nudity and scenes of a sexual nature. “Now, Harry, if you don’t mind, I need peace and quiet to watch my man.”

Harry looked at him, his gaze lingering as Louis turned back to the screen.

“Please.” Harry said, leaning into Louis. “I’m better than Zac Efron.”

Louis snapped his head around.

“Okay, firstly, how dare you?”

Harry smirked.

“You wouldn’t want to go out with someone that beefy.” Harry nodded towards the screen. Zac’s first scene had him topless and washing a car. It took Louis a second to drag his eyes away to look back at Harry. “I bet he’s never out the gym. How boring!”

“Shut up.” Louis laughed in disbelief. “He’s beautiful.”

“I’ve seen better.”

“I point-blank refuse to believe that.” Louis said, shaking his head as he leaned over and pushed his hand into Harry’s bag of popcorn to steal some in retaliation, not really taking into account the fact it was resting over his crotch. His fingers hit the bottom of the bag and as he realised his terrible mistake, he saw Harry’s mouth go slack and fall open slightly.

“Oh, uh-” Louis quickly removed his hand from the bag, focusing on eating the stolen popcorn. “Anyway. You insult my Zac, you insult me.”

Harry regained his composure, shrugging and smirking. He turned his body at an angle, almost leaning against Louis’ shoulder and propped an ankle on a seat in front, crossing his other ankle over it. 

“Listen, I find Zac Efron just as attractive as the next guy, but I’m just saying.”

“You were saying you’re  _ better.” _ Louis said incredulously. “Better in what way, exactly?!”

Harry lay his head on Louis’ shoulder. His unruly curls brushed Louis’ face; he pushed away a strand that was threatening to poke him in the eye, relenting to his impulses and resting his cheek on the soft mop of hair, staring at the screen and starting to feel less and less interested in watching the film. 

“Um…”

“You can’t think of anything, can you?”

“I mean, he’s gotta be pretty vain, right?” Harry laughed. “I’m not that vain.”

“I could tell you weren’t vain,” Louis shrugged, making Harry’s head bob, “when you walked in with this awful hair.”

“Excuse me, it’s very windy outside.” Harry scoffed. “Unless you generally just hate curly hair, which-”

“No-”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly expecting to be judged on my appearance when I walked into a deserted, dark cinema, was I?!”

“You’re judging my Zac, so I’m judging you.”

Harry shook his head, his hair tickling Louis’ cheek. He shifted his legs, pulling his right one a bit closer and planting his left foot on the floor; his legs were wide open and Louis knew there was no way he would be able to pay any kind of attention to this film now. Not with this cheeky, curly-haired stranger cosying up to him with his legs open like this. Jesus.

“Also, like, are you ever gonna meet Zac Efron?” Harry said. “It’s unlikely.”

“I don’t- what has that got to do with it?”

“I’m just saying.”

“Did you come in this cinema specifically to drape yourself on me and insult my boy or did you come to watch the film?”

“Fine! Fine.”

Harry started to sit up and Louis quickly reached over to still him.

“I didn’t say get up.”

Harry hummed a satisfied sound.

“I’m just saying. I just think it’s unproductive to spend your time drooling over Zac.”

“Excuse me, Harry, I’m very productive when I’m thinking about Zac.”

“Are you talking about wanking?”

“Look,” Louis smirked, once again grateful Harry can’t see his blushes, “Men are crap. If I want to focus my time and attention on a celebrity, that is my right. Zac will never hurt me, and he’ll never dump me.”

“I suppose that’s true.” Harry grinned. “Men are not crap, though.”

“No offence, Harry, but you’re a baby. You’ve gotta be, what, 18?” Louis tilted his head. “You’re undamaged.”

“Don’t make assumptions about my life.” Harry was  _ still _ grinning. “And for your information, I’m 19. And a half!”

Huh. He was nineteen (and a half). That made Louis feel better. He relaxed a bit, and Harry sat up to look at Louis.

“Sounds like you’ve been going out with dickheads.” Harry shrugged. “Some of us are good.”

“Harry, did you come to the cinema specifically to attempt to pick up men? Because I’ve gotta tell you, a Zac Efron film is not the place to do that. You’d be better off waiting in the lobby when the film ends, to be honest. Catch us when we’re leaving, sad because we’ll never have our own Zac.”

“Seems to be working on you.” Harry smirked, his voice teasing. 

“Absolutely not.” Louis replied, trying not to smile. “Look, I’ve paid ten pound sixty to see this film. Can we just watch it?”

Harry shrugged, resuming his previous position; head on Louis’ shoulder and legs spread open wide. Louis started to sweat, very conscious of the arm that he’d draped across the back of Harry’s chair just to get it out of the way.

Louis tried his best to work out what he’d missed in the film. All he knew was that Zac was probably about to have sex with some girl, which was always a very sexually confusing moment for Louis. Harry started to wriggle, and knocked into Louis’ hand on the back of the chair and it plopped down onto Harry’s shoulder.

“Oh, right, I see.” Harry said. “Told you it was working.”

“You did that on purpose!” Louis whined, laughing as he withdrew his arm.

“You’re shameless.”

A few minutes later, Louis saw Harry’s slowly moving towards his leg. Louis stared, distracted; he knew Harry had noticed him looking when he exaggeratedly snapped his hand back. He did it again a couple of minutes later; pretending to try and touch Louis’ thigh. The third time, his fingers actually grazed Louis’ leg and Louis nearly choked on his own saliva.

“If you wanna put your hand on my thigh, Harry, just do it. Don’t beat around the bush.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Harry grinned, waiting a few seconds before relenting and wrapping his long fingers around Louis’ thigh and gripping slightly.

The atmosphere shifted immediately. Louis knew he was in imminent danger of popping a semi, and Harry had become tense against him and his breathing shallow. This had just crossed the line from a flirty joke into something loaded with intent. Louis felt dizzy, swallowing and gripping the armrest with his free hand.

“Um-” He took a deep breath. “I’m Louis, by the way.”

Harry shifted slightly; he lifted his head and his face was inches away from Louis’.

“That’s a great name.” He said sincerely. “Louis.”

“Thanks.”

“Louis.” He repeated. “Louis!” He moaned loudly. “Yeah, it sounds good.”

Louis glared at Harry, breathless, his eyes dark.

“Fuck.” He sighed, shifting, knowing that his semi was in serious progress. “You’re a bastard.”

“Hm.” Harry let out a small laugh, glancing down at Louis’ lips and back again. “You have gorgeous eyes.”

Louis opened his mouth to respond but Harry moved in slightly, grazing his lips against Louis’. Louis let out a tiny moan, and then they were kissing.

Louis was  _ so _ not the kind of guy to snog random strangers in a darkened cinema but this was entirely an exceptional circumstance. Harry’s mouth was hot, eager; Louis had decided to play hard to get for some reason, resisting the advances of Harry’s tongue.

“Louis.” Harry groaned against his mouth; shifting in his seat and running his hand further up Louis’ thigh. Louis finally opened his mouth to let Harry’s tongue in; he tasted salty and chocolatey, his tongue wet, and a small moan escaped Louis’ throat.

“You’re fucking gorgeous.” Harry rasped. 

“So are you.” Louis replied sincerely. 

Harry bit his lip, moving his hand up even further, glancing down when he grazed Louis’ crotch and Louis knew Harry could tell how hard he was. Louis squirmed.

“Louis?” Harry breathed. “You ever been sucked off in a cinema?”

“What?!” Louis whined. “Fuck, um-”

Harry hurriedly dropped down to his knees and before Louis really came round to what was happening, Harry had positioned himself between Louis’ legs and placed his palms on his knees, waiting.

He met Louis’ eyes, seeking permission; it was dark but Louis could see Harry’s eyes glistening from the emergency lighting, mouth slightly agape in anticipation, lip shining with moisture. Louis’ heart was beating so hard he thought his chest might burst, and when Harry slid his palms up Louis’ thighs, he found himself shaking.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He moved his hands to the button of his jeans and yanked it open with trembling fingers. Harry at once slapped Louis’ hands away and took over. He unzipped Louis’ jeans and traced a finger over his bulging boxers, licking his lips as he grazed the damp patch of precome.

“Harry, are you sure-”

His fingers worked quickly and deftly; he had pulled Louis’ cock out in seconds and Louis whined as Harry licked his lips. He moved in, mouth open and tongue out. Louis let out a moan which turned into what was almost a shout as Harry licked up the underside of his cock.

“Jesus.” Louis exhaled. Harry’s hands moved to Louis’ hips, pulling him closer. Louis slumped in his chair, feeling a strange combination of strained and relaxed as Harry took him further in, letting Louis’ head hit the back of his throat without so much as a flinch.

Louis’s eyes rolled to the back of his head; he let them fall closed, exhaling a guttural moan, snapping his head up abruptly when he heard a noise somewhere in the distance.

“Harry, stop.” He said in a loud whisper, only just being heard over the film. Harry stilled his head, lips still wrapped around the base of Louis’ cock. “I think someone’s here.”

Harry let out a quiet moan, throat vibrating against Louis’ head. Louis swallowed a loud groan, trying to stay aware of his surroundings.

He saw the staff member just by the entrance, likely doing a routine check of all the auditoriums. He tried his very best to look straight ahead, seeing Zac Efron on the screen topless; Louis could not care less. The staff member slipped out of the auditorium; Louis waited to hear the door bang closed before letting out a breath he’d been holding.

“Oh, God.” Louis whined. “That was fucking close.”

Harry slowly slid his mouth from around Louis.

“I nearly fucking came there and then.” Harry sighed. 

“Oh?” Louis smirked. “You liked that? Nearly getting caught?”

“Fuck yes.” Harry breathed, his eyelids fluttering closed for a second. “I also just really like sucking pretty boys’ cocks.”

“Well-”

Harry took him back into his mouth, bobbing up and down at an increased speed and Louis was hitting the back of his throat constantly. He pushed his fingers into Harry’s curls, tugging sharply which prompted Harry to growl with pleasure, and all of a sudden Louis had barely anytime to cry out a garbled warning and he was spilling out into Harry’s mouth. 

Louis lost all sense of time and space and cried out at his very loudest, thrusting slightly into Harry’s mouth as he rode out his orgasm. Harry’s mouth was erratic both in movement and sound; when Louis was spent and had become very sensitive, he gently pushed Harry off.

“Jesus, were you possessed?” Harry said in a mixture of wonder and outrage. “That was obscene.”

“You’re one to talk.”

Harry sat back on his heels, shrugging modestly and grinning, looking pretty spaced out himself.

“Ah, well. I was blessed with no gag reflex.” He glanced up at Louis’ softening cock. “This is probably really embarrassing, but I came, too.”

“You did?”

“I told you, I fucking love sucking cock.”

“God, stop saying that.”

“But it was that fucking noise you made that did it.”

Louis smiled, proud as he tucked himself back into his boxers and zipped up his jeans. Harry placed his hands on Louis’ thighs, hauling himself to his feet and sitting back down next to Louis.

“Well, this is uncomfortable.” Harry said, squirming and adjusting his crotch.

“Go and clean yourself up!”

“Nah.” Harry shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“You staying?” Louis asked, trying not to sound as surprised as he felt. “I don’t know the usual etiquette for random cinema hook-ups.”

“Oi, neither do I!” Harry laughed, elbowing him. “And yes, I paid ten pound sixty for this film, too. I’m gonna watch it.”

“We missed most of it.”

Harry shrugged, laying his head back on Louis’ shoulder.

\---

A mere thirty minutes later, the film ended and Louis and Harry filed out of the cinema. 

“So that was, um…” Louis said, trailing off before laughing.

“Um, the film, or…”

Louis laughed again.

“I have no idea what that film was about.”

“Hey.” Harry said, grabbing Louis’ hand as they reached the lobby, pulling him back. “Since I ruined your boy’s film, I absolutely insist on taking you out. To see the film. Again. Well, properly.”

Louis laughed, feeling his expression go soft.

“Really?”

“Well, you’re fun. And it’s the least I can do.”

“Well, this was the best impromptu cinema date I’ve ever been on, I’ve got to say.”

“Come on then, give me your number.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he took Harry’s phone and punched his number in. They walked out to the street, discovering they were headed in different directions and said a sheepish goodbye and decided to part with a hug.

“Hey.” Harry said quietly in Louis’ ear as they embraced. “Maybe you should let me suck you off  _ before _ the film next time. Just… something to think about.”

Harry pulled away, quickly walking away and leaving Louis stood on the pavement outside the cinema, unsure what to do with himself.

Oh, he’ll think about it alright.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [Tumblr](http://catfishau.tumblr.com/).
> 
> If you enjoyed this fic, there is a [rebloggable post](https://catfishau.tumblr.com/post/171848439411/dinosaursmate-oh-here-we-go) over on Tumblr!


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